PROBE
In Behind You Every Step Of The Way!

Graphs


Chart your temperature in real time!

About


Probe is not just an activity tracker. Probe motivates you to reach your health and fitness goals by tracking your activity levels and energy consumption with one simple measurement: temperature. But what makes the Probe plan so unique is our extensive diagnostics kit! Probe displays real time and historical temperature data which allows you to monitor fluctuations and quickly react to anomalies, as temperature is a key indicator of health. But more importantly, Probe is an extra life insurance. We can say that with certainty as we'll even call you an ambulance if we detect an emergency!

Testimonials


/ with probe i can keep track of the \
\ output from all of my stomachs     /
        \   ^__^            
         \  (oo)\_______    
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |   
                ||     ||   
/ i use probe in my blowhole because i'm \
\ more than just a bottom feeder         /
    \                                       
     \            ##         .              
            ## ## ##        ==              
         ## ## ## ## ##    ===              
     /"""""""""""""""""\___/ ===            
~~~ {~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~ /  ===- ~~~     
     \______ o           __/                
      \    \         __/                    
       \____\_______/                       
/ when i use probe, i am literally on \
\ fire                                /
      \                    / \  //\                                        
       \    |\___/|      /   \//  \\                                     
            /0  0  \__  /    //  | \ \                                     
           /     /  \/_/    //   |  \  \                                   
           @_^_@'/   \/_   //    |   \   \                                 
           //_^_/     \/_ //     |    \    \                               
        ( //) |        \///      |     \     \                             
      ( / /) _|_ /   )  //       |      \     _\                           
    ( // /) '/,_ _ _/  ( ; -.    |    _ _\.-~        .-~~~^-.              
  (( / / )) ,-{        _      `-.|.-~-.           .~         `.            
 (( // / ))  '/\      /                 ~-. _ .-~      .-~^-.  \           
 (( /// ))      `.   {            }                   /      \  \          
  (( / ))     .----~-.\        \-'                 .~         \  `. \^-.   
             ///.----..>        \             _ -~             `.  ^-`  ^-_
               ///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _}^ - - - - ~                     ~-- ,.-~ 
                                                                  /.-~     

Product


Probe gives you accurate measurements of your temperature in real time using a sleek and attractive tool placed in your exterior sphincter, designed for easy insertion. It's the ultimate wearable, and no one will know but you!

Pricing


Sharing is caring! Our Free Plan is made possible by your consent to post your rectal data to everyone you have ever known and every social media channel you have ever used, and some others you'd forgotten you'd ever used.

We love you and our Plan will always be Free. 🤑